I'm not giving up

Our family has been really busy over the last week, between school, fall break, Halloween, and now prepping for a couple's retreat to the beach this weekend...my head is seriously spinning off. But this is usual craziness, as well as dealing with Dorian and his behavior. Since the early age of 2, I have had multiple meetings with Dorian's teachers, from daycare, to school, and even church leaders. I'm used to them. Most of the time the teachers are helpful and try to get information to help them with Dorian, sometimes I feel attacked like I am not doing enough at home and it's my fault why they can't get Dorian to listen. I've had a few teachers/leaders just give up on him and just want to get that year or session over with and move him on to someone else. I'm his mom...I am not giving up!! Last spring I thought we had a major breakthrough with his behavior. We introduced the "Behavior Highway." I have to do a post about this later, but it worked. His behavior improved DRASTICALLY. The teachers were calling and sending notes saying what a change they saw in Dorian. I thought we had finally gotten over this obstacle...until now. In his first year in kindergarten, the teacher kept saying his bad behavior was ADHD. So I investigated it, everything I researched said his age was too young to determine, it could be immaturity. The pediatrician said it was too early as well as a specialist I talked with. So I stopped her allegations and continued to work with him and ultimately held him back a year. Last week we had a teacher/parent conference. I've got to hand it to this teacher...she stayed positive about his academics, but all the problems she described pointed straight to ADHD. She never mentioned it as a problem, she didn't have to. I knew. She wasn't complaining about his bad behavior, she was complaining about the fact that he can't sit still, so they let him stand, but then he can't stand still. It'll start with his hands, then his legs are moving, by the end his whole body is a wiggling, which is distracting to the class. I have come to a point where if it's not ADHD, then I have no clue what is affecting him.

I know a lot of parents now are against the whole notion of ADHD. I am too, to a point. Back in kindergarten, I think it was immaturity. She was describing misbehavior. I am not going to drug my child because you can't control him. The following two years the teachers had problems, but we were able to work through them. Now I have to visit it as an answer. I am against just "treating" him with just medicine. What I have researched, medicine is just a quick fix, there is no evidence that in the long run the medicine will change them. I will be treating him with a specialist to help teach him how to control his hyperactivity. I also want to investigate learning disabilities. I hate the word "disabilities." I think our society puts a negative connotation on it. Maybe learning obstacles is better? I have noticed and it has been seconded by his teacher of him being unable to express himself in writing, even when giving a topic. I feel like I am pulling teeth trying to get him to tell me what his favorite thing to do outside. "You play outside every single day, and you can't write 3 sentences about what you like??" Do you see my frustration? I feel like he can't express himself, which could lead to his misbehavior. But how do you teach your child to express themselves? I need help.


I love Dorian sooo much. I want him to be a successful adult one day. Is that too much to ask? I'm just so frustrated with everything.

*****************************

On a lighter note, I didn't get any Halloween pictures, I think I'm going to have the kids put their costumes back on this week so I can take a few shots. However, one of the houses we visited took pictures of their trick or treaters and posted them here. I found Dorian, Dee and Kayla!



I know what you are thinking...it's only a good one of Dorian...but you get the idea of Kayla being a duck. :)

♥ Liz